Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
