I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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