Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
