I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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