I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
high people should be assigned attendants
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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