How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize