true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize