He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We are all done wearing pants today
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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