Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
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