I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
