I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
