Just fell off a train. Bad.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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