coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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