I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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