butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
a search helicopter?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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