i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
