There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
