Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
