like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
