oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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