16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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