yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
