there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
