My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It was confusing and full of hummus
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize