Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
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I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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