so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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