No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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