just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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