we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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