i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
