Can Purell be used as lube?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
