We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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