if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
