i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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