How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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