guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
