Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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