yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
