nut hugger
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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