i just wanna soil my oats bro
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
