Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
