You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
