I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it because I queefed?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
