so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
