So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
