It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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