Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
