why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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