at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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