If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
