Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
