babies were throwing up all over the place
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
