i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
