It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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