I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
