All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
