the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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