His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
