Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
