I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
