you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
third nipple confirmed
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
