Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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