she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
