I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
