i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
