It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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