Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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