and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Randomize
