everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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