He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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