I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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