I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
