she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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