I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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