Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
