just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
